Style Invitational Week 1145: It’s a DICEy situation — Tour de Fours XII Our annual neologism contest, plus the winning reinterpreted headlines Bob Staake came up with “paracomedic”: Can you make up a term that includes the E-D-I-C block, in any order? (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) By Pat Myers October 15 (Click here to skip down <#report> to the results of our Mess With Our Heads bank headline contest. ) Paracom*edic*: an EMT who performs stand-up while you lie down in the ambulance. *Ice-d*amsel: The person in distress if you try to “rescue” this princess is you. This week’s second prize, the Mr. Tea Infuser, so appropriately goes to Rob Wolf’s Bush-watering joke. (VAT19.COM) Pasturep*edic*: A mattress that brings the freshness of the outdoors into your bedroom (antihistamine available separately). Pund*ecid*ed: Should we go with ‘Surfin’ DOA’ or ‘No Vibrations’ for the obituary headline? This year’s Tour de Fours neologism contest uses two letters never used in the preceding 11 Tours: C and D. But the game’s the same: *Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E,* and describe it, as in the examples above; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. Feel free to use it in a funny sentence. Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial , the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives “The Art of the Bonsai Potato,” consisting of a little plastic stand on which you place a real potato, whose sprouts you trim with serene concentration as if they’re hundred-year old pine twigs. “Zen — without the wait,” it cheerfully promises. Mini-tools and “hilarious 32-page book” included. Donated by longtime Loser Christina Courtney. *Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either “The Wit Hit the Fan” or “Hardly Har-Har.” First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com / or, if you were born in the 19th century, fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, Oct. 26; results published Nov. 15 (online Nov. 12). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest. Include “Week 1145” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s results is by Jeff Contompasis; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Kevin Dopart. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. / *The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv . And from the Style Invitational contest announced four weeks ago . . . *QUIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES:**REPORT FROM WEEK 1141* Week 1141 was our perennial Mess With Our Heads contest, in which you chose a real headline from that week’s Post and wrote a bank head, or subtitle, that either misinterprets the original head or comments wryly on it. Great results, as always. 4th place: *How first lady can avoid a dress flap * Aides suggest she drop designer Dr. Denton (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.) 3rd place: *A no-brainer on Syria* Palin weighs in on Mideast conflict (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) 2nd place and the Mr. Tea Infuser: *Bush’s unfamiliar position: underdog* Transplanted azalea withers from warm, yellow watering (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.) And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: *Amid pomp and circumstance, a shepherd tends his flock* ‘Quit playing FarmVille on your phone — they’re about to call you up for your diploma!’ friend mutters to classmate (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.) Bank reserves: honorable mentions *Ben Carson says a Muslim shouldn’t be president * And Muslims say Ben Carson shouldn’t be president (Neal Starkman, Seattle; Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.) *Stocks close down on growth concerns* Colonial Williamsburg removes replicas because ‘fat tourists keep getting their arms caught’ (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) *Tortorella to coach U.S. squad in Cup* Embarrassed players wish he would put more clothes on (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.) *The beginning of Trump’s end?* That would be right on top of his neck (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) *Israeli supermodel wanted a no-fly zone for her wedding* All male guests had to wear yoga pants, kilts (Sylvia Betts, Vancouver, B.C.) *Carly Fiorina subdued in victory lap after debate* Police allege “she looked black” (Stephen Litterst, Newark, Del.) *‘I’ve tried three wheels before, but not two. I’m a little nervous.’ *Brie addict struggles to reduce daily cheese consumption (Roy Ashley, Washington) *Candidates on both sides bashing China* Senate Dining Room spat between Sanders, Cruz turns into plate-throwing brawl (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.) *When dating in your 40s, is it better to be divorced or never married? * Experts agree that, yes, married people shouldn’t be dating (Christopher Thorpe, San Francisco) *Culture of reprisals against whistleblowers* Disgruntled fans routinely toss stuff at refs (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) *At debate, many candidates spell out their strategy on Iran* ‘B-O-M-B’ (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.) *Washington Post honored at food journalist conference* Paper edges Times of London in coveted Fish & Chip Wrapping category (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.) *Md. man ‘touched everyone’s hearts’ * Out-of-control surgeon performed unwanted, invasive procedures (Rebekah Bundang, Vienna, Va., a First Offender) *Groupon to shed 1,100 jobs* Company-wide e-mail titled ‘10% off!’ wasn’t best way to break the news, execs say (Brendan Beary) *White House picks florist * ‘Ha, now you know how we feel,’ say Rose Garden inhabitants (Danielle Nowlin) *Doesn’t get any easier for Virginia* Tyke to be told there is no Easter Bunny (Mark Raffman) *Metro nears new deal to keep cellphone users connected * Riders will be able to call the office to say they’re stuck on the Red Line again (Brendan Beary) *GOP hopefuls spell dread for federal employees* Only 3 forgot to include the silent A (Neal Starkman) *How to make 2016 the year of the tomato* Trump urges GOP to recruit women candidates with ‘huge personas’ (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) *Copper returns as an agent in the battle against resilient bacteria* Officer McGruff says: ‘Take a bite out of grime’ (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) *A look ahead at Wednesday’s Mass* After Tuesday’s banquet, Christie predicts 5-lb. gain (Rick Haynes, Ocean City, Md.) *Amazon announces new $50 tablet* ‘Amateurs,’ scoffs pill-gouger Martin Shkreli (Brendan Beary) *Another disappointing transportation meeting * Metro seatmate turns out not to be soul mate for 7,653rd consecutive morning (Danielle Nowlin) ** *Name the panda Elvis* CIA reveals Bin Laden’s cryptic last words (Frank Osen) *Number of uninsured fell steeply last year* Owner of free Novocain clinic lost control on double-diamond ski slope (Gary Crockett) O*bama is now letting U.S. telecom carriers go to Cuba * Country told to expect installer between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. next Tuesday (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.) *On Lesbos, endless waves of boats and fears of a more treacherous voyage* U.S. government slow to aid because senators cannot say ‘Lesbos’ without giggling (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.) *Overdue praise for the line* Classic ‘Would you like to come up and see my etchings?’ gets new life in tat age (Mae Scanlan, Washington) *Papal visit to Washington will start in summer, end in fall * Psychics agree that pontiff’s first Segway outing won’t fare well (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.) *Pope meets with Fidel Castro, urges Cubans to ‘serve people,’ not ideas* ‘Soylent Verde’ policy unveiled (Bird Waring) *To minimize lumber damage, quickly get rid of water* Infections from chronically full bladders can spread to nearby parts (Jeff Contompasis) *Too much time behind bars* Ted Danson regrets early TV career (Mark Raffman) *Waiting hours and hours for a joyous few seconds* ‘Dinner and a movie’ retains its romantic utility (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.) *With today’s offenses, reaching triple digits doesn’t look quite as impossible* Irritated Beltway drivers growing extra middle fingers to adapt (Danielle Nowlin) *First commute goes well at Silver Spring Transit Center* ‘Tomorrow we’ll try a second passenger,’ officials vow (Duncan Stevens) *Get ready for three-on-three* ‘Man-man-woman marrying man-man-dog is next,’ Santorum warns (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.) *U.S. sees opportunity for military gains against ISIS in Syria* Wishes everyone luck with that, changes channel (Mike Connaghan, Alexandria, Va.) *Still running: Deadline Monday night, Oct. 19: Our contest to give a brand name a better use. See bit.ly/invite1144 . *